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Iyanla Vanzant, #1 New York Times best-selling author of Peace from Broken Pieces presents:

MASTERING THE FOUR ESSENTIAL TRUSTS

Trust in Self


Trust in God


Trust in Others


Trust in Life

No matter where or how we live in the world, trust is an essential requirement for human life. Without trust there can be no peace of mind.  

#1 New York Times best-selling author Iyanla Vanzant

“Learning to trust is one of life’s most difficult lessons. That’s because trust is not a verb; it’s a noun. Trust is a state of mind and being. If you are serious about learning to trust, you need TNT—Tenacity, Nerve, and Time. But what if the real problem is not that we can’t trust other people; it’s that we can’t trust ourselves?”



TRUST IN OTHERS


Trust in others because it is the only way to fine-tune your instincts, deepen your  ability to trust yourself, and learn the depth of your capacity to love and forgive. . .  Trust in others because you need people to facilitate and support your mental, emotional, and spiritual growth. Even when your interactions and relationships are difficult, challenging, and uncomfortable, trust that you are growing. Trust in others because those whom you do trust—with or without good reason—will support you in recognizing the areas of your mind and heart that may still need loving care and attention. 


In this compelling volume, filled with illuminating and heartrendingly powerful stories of broken trust, betrayal, and triumph, Iyanla demonstrates why the four essential trusts—Trust in Self, Trust in God, Trust in Others, and Trust in Life—are like oxygen: without them, none of us can survive. 



Mastering these four essential trusts requires both a process and a practice. Life gives you the process through your experiences; people provide you the opportunity to practice. Whether you are faced with the specter of an unfaithful spouse, a manipulative colleague, a rebellious child, or a corrupt institution, Iyanla not only explores what trust really is, but she reveals why some of life’s most shocking trust violations offer us the most profound opportunities for personal growth and healing. 



TRUST IN SELF


Trust in God because it is your sole purpose for being on the planet. Trust in God  because you are a human being, prone to losing connection to and awareness of your good sense . . . Trust in God because it is the sure way that you will rise above your humanness into the truth of your authentic identity that is divine, purposeful, joyful, loving, and lovable . . . Trust in God because when you cannot do it—whatever it is—for yourself, God can do it through you and for you. 


Trust yourself because you are worthy of your own time, energy, attention, and love.  You—as a demonstration of and representative of the presence of the Creator in the world—deserve and are worthy of your own trust . . . Trust yourself because it is the way you demonstrate that you are willing to embrace, engage, and enjoy life . . . Trust yourself because when the rubber meets the road, when all else fails, when everyone else has fallen by the wayside, you will know that you have always been and will always be there for you. 


TRUST IN LIFE


TRUST IN GOD


Trust the process of life because it is an incredible journey of wonder, adventure, and  evolution that you can experience only in direct proportion to your willingness to trust it. Trust the process because life is on your side. Life wants to encourage you, inspire you, and motivate you, moment by moment, and that can happen only when you trust that life knows exactly what you need, and exactly when you need it . . . When you trust the process, you will deepen your awareness and understanding of who you are and the meaning of every person and experience you encounter.  


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Iyanla Vanzant recounts the last decade of her life and the spiritual lessons learned—from the price of success during her meteoric rise as a TV celebrity on Oprah, the Iyanla TV show (produced by Barbara Walters), to the dissolution of her marriage and her daughter’s 15 months of illness and death on Christmas day. 


Like a phoenix rising from the ashes, Iyanla shares why everything we need to learn is reflected in our relationships and the strength and wisdom she has gained by supporting others in their journeys to make sense out of the puzzle pieces of their lives.

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CREATE YOUR OWN UNIQUE TRUST TOOL KIT

  • Do you trust your own voice?
  • Do you trust that you can hear the voice of God?
  • Do you trust yourself to see and hear what others are really saying and doing?
  • Do you trust (no matter how hard it may be) that there are no mistakes in life?


Iyanla’s pragmatic trust prescriptions—rooted in increased self-awareness, heightened intuition, honest communication, and disciplined spiritual practice—will not only challenge you to face your deepest fears, they will free you to cultivate new levels of increased authenticity, greater resilience, renewed peace, and more joy. This wise work will inspire you to “take the leap of trust,” because without trust there can be no peace of mind. 


Learning to trust is a huge mountain that we are all required to climb, whether we want to or not. Some of us don’t like heights; others are tired or lazy or simply resistant when it comes to doing the hard work required to move through the challenges of life. Doesn’t matter! At some point, you will face the mountain; you will be required to trust someone or something in order to get where you are going. You don’t start mountain climbing by scaling Mount Everest without equipment. So start where you are. Start with the anthill in your own backyard. Build your trust muscles by considering the following questions.


Because trust is a process that develops and deepens with experience and practice, these questions are a good starting point for the development of the four essential trusts—Trust in Self, Trust in God, Trust in Others, and Trust in Life. Start small, and use the four essential trusts as your building blocks. If you do, what’s going on around you won’t matter; what unfolds within you will get you to where you need to be. 



TRUST IN SELF


The purpose of offering this exploration of trust is to support you in developing an inward rather than an outward focus. Everything you need to make it through the most painful, difficult, and challenging issues of your life exists within you. Do not under any circumstances doubt your power! It is real! 


The value of self-trust is another tool in your tool kit that you can use to move yourself into and out of any experience you face. Self-trust is an invaluable learning device as you move through the curriculum of your life to heal what you need to heal, learn what you need to learn, and grow in the direction your soul is pulling you.


Are you ready to begin your trust trek?



21 Signs That You May Not Trust Yourself

  1. I have a hard time recognizing, understanding, or believing in my innate value and worth.
  2. I accept the negative, self-rejecting messages that I received in childhood.
  3. I think that I could have done something to change or stop the childhood abuse, neglect, or abandonment that I experienced.
  4. I do things to prove myself and my value to others.
  5. I try to control everything around me so I can feel safe.
  6. I compare the choices I’ve made to those made by others.
  7. I minimize or deny my own needs.
  8. It’s sometimes difficult to recognize or tell the truth.
  9. I am unable to find, or value, my own voice.
  10. I’m unable or unwilling to recognize or challenge my self-sabotaging or self-destructive thoughts, beliefs, and behavior patterns.
  11. I’m prone to catastrophizing—i.e., I’m filled with the constant expectation of failure, disappointment, or betrayal.
  12. I mentally relive or rehash past traumas or adverse events.
  13. I engage in negative and harmful self-talk, and my negative ego takes control.
  14. I participate in self-sabotaging or compulsive repetitive behaviors that create shame, guilt, or self-punishment.
  15. I break the promises that I’ve made to myself.
  16. I fail to keep the commitments and/or agreements that I’ve made with others.
  17. I find it difficult to finish what I start.
  18. I hold in anger, resentment, or ill will toward—or I speak negatively about—those who I feel have hurt or harmed me.
  19. I deny or minimize my power of choice.
  20. I defer to others—allowing them to make choices and decisions for me.
  21. I rely heavily on my physical senses to make decisions and am often disconnected from my instincts, intuition, and inner guidance.



How you treat yourself on a daily basis can provide some critical feedback about your current level of self-trust. Compare your level of agreement with the statements in the list below to reveal the thoughts and beliefs still present in your consciousness that may be undermining your ability to trust yourself fully—give yourself permission to stay in touch with your feelings and tell the absolute truth.


Do You Trust Yourself?


STEPS FOR DEVELOPING SELF-TRUST

Lesson #1

Standing in your truth.



You must learn that you can stand in the face of judgment, criticism, correction, or rejection without falling apart. Learning to trust yourself means accepting that (a) You will make mistakes, and (b) When you do or even when you do not make a mistake, everyone is not going to agree with how you do what you do; and you will be okay.


Speaking your truth.


Lesson #2


Speaking from your heart means telling the whole truth about everything, to everyone, about the experience that you have in the moment. Speaking your truth does not mean that someone else’s truth must be negated if it is different. This is a good place to consider a “what if.” What if you feel the other person is totally and completely off base? What if what she has said or experienced has absolutely nothing to do with you? It matters not! When you are learning to trust you, it is imperative that in the face of a challenge, you default to the belief that what someone is offering is the truth as she knows it or feels it in the moment—even when it makes no sense to you. Why? Because this is exactly what you are doing, sharing your truth.


Being courageously vulnerable.


Lesson #3


Speaking from your heart means being willing to be vulnerable. We have already covered the importance of vulnerability on the journey toward developing self-trust. While the challenge to your speaking, actions, or intentions may make you feel vulnerable and bad, you can feel bad and recover if and when you tell the truth. If your desire is really to trust who you are when you are interacting with others, you simply must learn how to be vulnerable and be courageous enough to stand in your vulnerability.


PRACTICE! PRACTICE! PRACTICE!


When you trust yourself, you open your mind and heart to learn more, heal faster, and evolve into the highest possibilities that life has to offer. 


Trusting yourself is a prelude to and the foundation for trusting everyone and everything else.


The fundamental principle of trust is Be-Do-Have. Be trustworthy to yourself, within yourself. Do what is trustworthy for yourself and for everyone else. Have a greater experience of trust in your life because what you attract is a function of who you are in the world. The Be part is internal. The Do part is external. The Have part is your behavior, that is, the marriage of your being and doing. Because trust is a function of your being and doing—trust must be practiced. Practice! Practice! Practice! Practice is the only way to build your Be-Do-Have muscles.


About Iyanla Vanzant


From welfare mother to New York Times best-selling author, from the Brooklyn projects to Emmy Award winner, from broken pieces to peace, Iyanla Vanzant is one of the country’s most celebrated writers and public speakers, and she’s among the most influential, socially engaged, and acclaimed spiritual life coaches of our time. Host and executive producer of the critically acclaimed  hit Iyanla: Fix My Life on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network, Iyanla’s focus on faith, empowerment, and loving relationships has inspired millions around the world. 


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